the weekend

I'm warning you right now that this is more of a journal entry with no purpose and a lot of disorganization. go ahead and read if you want.

I've been thinking lately.. about how life is simple. I think I have always known that I have a simple mind. really when it comes to everything; what I believe, learning in school. I understand things in a simple, realistic way. With that being said, not everything in this world is simple, which can sometimes throw me for a loop when I'm trying to wrap my head about something more complicated than making brownies with coconut oil. (haha - I feel like I'm making myself sound super dumb and un-intelligent right now. promise I am sort of smart people). I have just been thinking lately about the decisions that Steve and I are facing in our lives. Big ones at that. Like what to do with our hard earned money, how there are so many not simple choices that we are having to make in the next little while. (really people - how hard can it be to decide what kind of dog to get? kidding - but really. That is one of the more simple decisions might you know). And then I think about how simple our summer lives are - and how I'm going to miss is tooo much. We wake up, eat, work, fall asleep next to each other, go on little adventures, discover more and more about one another each day.. It just seems simple sometimes. But soo complicated at too.

Just rambles over here. But it has been on my mind lately. How simple can life really get? And how do our minds make it so complicated.. Deep stuff friends.

Any who (I feel like I'm saying that a lot lately).. We had a great weekend. I didn't sell on Saturday which was a bummer because I worked dang hard.. and was so close so many times. but it's alright. There is always today. We went and hung out with some chubby baby cousins of mine that night and it made me baby hungry. Steve and I went to the full 3 hours of our ward on Sunday which was so refreshing. We have been traveling and out of town so much the past couple weeks, and I loved being able to just sit, and feel at peace, and just take in a lot of good stuff. (the good stuff meaning parenting - raising children - Steve and I had one of those really in depth couple conversations after church while I was making these BOMB chicken tacos which was really fun. The kind of conversation that makes you just smile and fall in love with each other all again - that is for another post though. It was cool).

We are working in Sacramento for the week and I already love it up here. love it enough that I would raise my kids here, that kind of love. I am going to be staying in a hotel room with three stinky boys though (one of them is my husband - who smells good most of the time, so that shouldn't be a problem) so wish me lots of luck and patience and stuff.

That's all.

>> Ry

Life

So I had the goal of finishing a book before the summer was over. Last week I bought the book Escape, by Carolyn Jessop and I just couldn't put it down. I finished it in like 5 days. I was that hooked. I had to force myself to not bring it with me while I worked or I wouldn't have knocked on one door all week. I have always had a thing for books that are intense and empowering... maybe because of some of the experiences I have had in my life, and some of the amazing women I look up to that have dealt with and overcome some incredible obstacles.. I dunno. But that kind of stuff absolutely fascinates me (Steve sometimes makes fun of me for it ha. But it's whatever). 

Any who, I've been thinking a lot lately about this life that I have been given. About how I am living my life right now, and the luxuries that I have that so many people in the world are so unaware of. I probably sound like a crazy person right now, ha the fact that one single book brought all of these emotions to surface for me (that and Steve and I had an awesome talk about obedience last night - I love talking about smart, in-depth things with my husband. I feel like we grow closer with every word that comes out of our mouths and I love it), but it's true. I have been reflecting on how blessed I am to live the way I do. I think about some of the hard things that I have had to go through in my life, or that Steve and I may have ahead of us, and it truly makes me grateful. It makes me grateful to think that there is a God that cares about us enough to help us learn how to become stronger. To give us chances to improve ourselves, and is there every millisecond that we may need help. Then I think about the people in our world like carolyn jessop. The life that she, and so many women had to (and still have to) live. That "Why?" question always comes up when I think about stuff like that, and even though I already feel like I know the answer (maybe the answer is just sufficient for me) I always get curious and have to have long thoughts with myself about it. Then I come back to the same few sentences every time. Our spirits our strong enough to endure anything that is put in our way, as long as we are obedient and willing to work with our Father in Heaven. I remember that those women who live any FLDS community, and those children that have to face all that they do in Syria, or the babies who sleep in huts at night, all have spirits strong enough to withstand their circumstances. (but that doesn't stop the other part of me that wants to walk into Colorado City and shake every single women silly and go and buy them mini skirts and take tops and take a bat to every man's head - was that too harsh?)

Bottom line, I'm grateful. I'm grateful that I have to worry about whether or not I am going to get yelled at by a complete stranger when I knock on their doors a couple times a day. I am grateful that I open the fridge and have an endless amount of items I could scarf in seconds. I am grateful that I have a man who respects me, and see's my worth, and loves me for it. I'm just plain grateful.

{oh, and last night steve and I drove home from a little sight seeing and that picture above is what we ran into. I mean, really? Heaven is for real people. Like seriously for real. I love this life.}

And now Steve and I are going to go and write down 100 things that we are thankful for. Heaven knows we have been blessed with much more than 100 things, and for that, I wouldn't give up what I know and the Gospel I live for anything.

Let's all be blessed together.

>Ry

Just Thinking

/ I just ate another box of chocolate covered bananas in 24 hours. And I'm still buying World Market Bundaberg ginger beer in 10 packs. #shiz (P.S. I just became a "World Market Explorer" and have two ten percent off coupons.. ahhh I can't wait to use them. if you want some too, go here) 

/ Sometimes I have no sense of time and play/teach myself how to work photoshop for four hours a day. then I lose patience and get frustrated and go walk around Target. Man that thing is amazing though. Can't wait to get better at it. 

/ I still have the goal of starting (and finishing) a book before the end of the summer and the new semester starts. Just bought the book - Escape by Carolyn Jessop - A M A Z I N G. Can we talk about how crazy?? I need some other creepily obsessed lovers of this book to chat with about it.. Lemme know.

/ I'm becoming addicted to 24. Started watching the first season a couple days ago and can get over how they only show an hour each episode. kiillllling me I tell you. Good thing I have an endless amount to watch. jumping on the band wagon a little late. oops. 

/ I'm convinced by body is working against me in every way possible. something new hurts every day I swear. it's whatever though. just gives me an excuse to sit in the sun at the pool and not have to work out. and makes me grateful for chiropractors (the one I found is bomb by the way). and ice packs. 

/ Sometimes I remember how much I miss having couple friends. And being able to hang with girls. Good things my husband is the raddest and makes me feel good about myself and makes me laugh and tells me my cooking rocks.  (I made homemade mac and cheese the other night, and am becoming a professional at the grill.. in mr. warner's eyes at least. and that's all that matters, right? maybe I'll post about food one of these days). 

/I can't wait to have a house.

/If I have regulars that read this blog (which if you are - I looove you - and will track you down and make you a really yummy dinner and brownies with coconut oil, so let me know) sorry about the constant change of design - we are playing around with ry diaries right now. {and would love input if there is any :)} 

/Oh and me and Steve want to get a dog. really bad. Medium sized, doesn't shed, playful, basically the perfect kind of dog. Any suggestions? please? 

/I can't believe that July is over. August is here. And this summer has gone by faster than any other. Soon steve and I will be away from each other for like a month and I am not really looking forward to it. 

/If anyone has any suggestions on getting rid of fruit flies, please send them my way. I swear these little buggers reproduce faster than the blink of an eye and I'm about to go crazy. 

Thats all. 

> Ry

Hello World!

We are alive! If any of you were wondering. We are most definitely alive and well. We are now in the blessed land of California that we love so much for the second summer in a row. I have such a love-hate relationship with these four, warm months out of the year. But surprisingly it is starting to turn into more of the "I'm loving this even though I have to knock on people's doors and get screamed and yelled at for no reason" kinda love. Really. As crazy and weird as it sounds. I love the summers that we have.

Our lives are so simple when we are away for these four months. Its funny because you would think that things would be more stressful, intense, whatever you want to call it (since we have one of the most uncommon jobs in the universe) and even though it is that way sometimes, it's the best. I don't really know how to explain it, and I'm probably making no sense. But the summers that we spend working crazy hours, being exhausted and starved by the end of the day, getting yelled at by complete strangers are so great. They are so great because we get to experience new things that we never would have, we get to go on all different kinds of adventures together, just Steve and I, that we never would have if we didn't sacrifice the things that we do with this job. We grow in ways that are not possible without doing what we do, and it's just great. I love it.

Sappy, cutesy part over. Want to know what we have really been up to lately? For those that really care, it is only three weeks into the summer and we have already had a roller coaster of fun and craziness. The "stories from the doors" are already piling up, and we have finally settled down for the next little while. (I know what you are thinking, "it took you 3 weeks to settles down?")

So we live in Antioch/Brentwood, Ca with about 10 other people from our office. The rest of our buddies are down south a little bit living in Fresno. (aka all of the wives/married friends that we have out here during the summer). We first lived in Fresno, and then a week later decided to move up north for area/knocking/didn't want to drive 4 hours + to work every day. It makes logical sense, but I had an emotional crazy moment because I had just met some of the most amazing ladies that I was going to get to spend the summer with, and was already seeing the light at the end of the long summer tunnel. So it was a rough move. But a needed and beneficial one to say the least. I created some of the most sweet, marvelous relationships that I will carry on forever. Those relationships that even if you don't see each other for months at a time, it doesn't matter cause then you just pick up and are chatter boxes the second you see each other again. Awesome friends like that. It's just all good.

Okay, now the sappy part is really over. I'll stop blabbering my feelings over here.

The best part about the move? We are only ONE hour away from San Francisco! Steve and I took a drive last weekend and explored on a small part of the city - aka the pier. It was beautiful, and I loved it. The drive itself isn't bad either which is a bonus. Maybe we are just used to the california driving so it doesn't phase us anymore. After a long week it was such a great break to just be with the two of us, exploring like we love to do. Our time together is the best.

I will stop writing now so that my novel doesn't bore you, but the pictures below give a pretty good explanation of how beautiful this place is that we live.

Much love peeps, 

>> ry

It's Just Different

I always get weird, nasty homesick feelings when my husband leaves for work. It's mostly just when he goes to sell though. Maybe it is because I know how bad it sucks, and how much I hate it so I just feel strange and sensitive (like I might just cry cause I miss him kinda sensitive) feelings. Who knows. It's hard to explain, but I have all of these emotions right now, cause he left to sell for california today. So now I'm writing about them. It helps :)

I think sometimes he knows when I am getting this way. Like getting ready to send him off and I don't love that he is going kinda thing. Last night he took me to get late night yogurtland cause he knew I liked my outfit and was craving sweet stuff. Even though he was already in his pajamas. He is the best. Really he is, and I don't know if I really share how amazing he is sometimes. Like to other people... And he has this awesome wave with his hair going on right now. I just have a really rad husband. I love him. And his hair.

Oh! And I went to this crazy sweet hair show last night with my sista haley. Like the kind of hair show where you think an animal might crawl out of these ladies heads. It was sweet. And a charity for an amazing cause too! Not to mention I got loads of free shampoo and conditioner samples. The sunflower head was by far my favorite. This is art here people. Pure talent. I would call it a successful time.

P.S. Wasn't the weather amazing yesterday. I ran outside and it made me feel good about myself. I can't wait for spring. OH! And happy "day of being married for a hear and a half!" Mr. Warner! Love it.

- Ry

August

Sayyy Whhhattt??

Is it seriously already August? This is like shocker for me. The first week of August is almost over. And I'm actually having a hard time accepting it.

> The summer ends this month

> School starts this month

> I say goodbye to my husband for a month this month

> I get to see my family this month

> I get to drive on the roads in orem and be surrounded by mountain beauty this month

> I am leaving this glorious state that I love so much this month

AND The summer sales season is ending this month

Part of me wants to just soak in the sun these next few weeks and take my time at the pool, take little road trips to the beach, try and search out all of the little thrift shops that I have been wanting to all summer..

and then I'm like wait… 

No Sariah..

You need to take advantage of the next three weeks that you have, and make as much mula as possible. I am 16 away from my goal, and I will reach it no matter what it takes. So then I get my head on straight again and say, okay now get in the car and drive to the area. 

I think that has been my biggest leap this summer is having incredible amounts of self-discipline. It is so hard for me to just get myself out there, and knock on doors. I have learned more about myself, my needs, my wants, my dreams, my desires, my strengths this summer, more than any other time in my life. And I am so grateful for it. It has no doubt been the hardest thing I've ever done, but yesterday when I was finalizing my school schedule for this fall it dawned on me…

I won't EVER have to work and go to school at the same time AGAIN!!! I want to cry happy tears just thinking about it… I am going to be done with school by two in the afternoon.. two days out of the week I only have one class… and quite frankly I'm not sure what I'm going to do with myself. (besides the fact that I am taking 19 credits and that I actually might be busier than I was before because of that).

This summer is already paying off… I am such a lucky girl. For so many reasons.

Here is to finishing off strong, maybe getting a little pool time in, and trying to get my husband to drink nasty tasting protein drinks by the end of the summer. Hooorraaahhh!! 

>>Ry

PS. I'm obsessed with "home" stuff. Like all things decorating. I can't wait to have a place to call our own and be able to do whatever I want with it. Yes.

Woah

I'm baaaacckkkk. But really.

I have actually been avoiding this place for a little while now, because when I think about how much I have to catch up on, it makes me insane. But I am facing my problems now and finally telling the world about what has been happening in our lives the past little while..

Crazy amazing, I know. 

A fun secret that I figured out about myself this past week, is that I literally become mentally deranged when my husband leaves me. Steve left last week, for the entire week. And the only person who will know how crazy I went will be my best friend across the hall from us, Mal. Her Mr. was gone as well, and we just mourned together. We have obviously been away from each other before. But I think that I have been so used to being with Steve literally all the time, that I didn't know what to do with myself when he was gone. Normally we have mornings together, we come home together, drive out to area together, but not last week. I was alone in the morning, alone driving out, alone coming home, and alone at night. (Except for when Mal and I would watch Extreme Weight Loss via the Mac).

Any who, I cried every single day, except for Friday, because I went and surprised him for his birthday (More on that later) and I didn't cry on Saturday either because that was the day he was coming home. Yes, I know that sounds ridiculous, and I've accepted it. That's why I'm sharing :)

Well that was a fun little soap box. Let's move on.

The title of this post? That is about all I have to say about life lately. Woah. It has been so unbelievably great, (besides being in my depressed state last week). And there is going to be a LOT of catch up to do.. that is for dang sure.

I'll start where I left off from last time though... SISTER TIME!

Having Mckenna out here was so awesome. It was hard to work. But I still did. And we had such a lovely time. I definetely made sure that Ken had a taste of what my job is like... aaanndd we didn't last long to say the least. We made sure to check out the beach, local Victoria Gardens {Where we ran in to our friends the Greens/Stayners from back home!!!} play with our favorite girl Indie baby, and of course many delicious foodie joints here and there.

One of my favorite parts of the trip? Was finding this sweet little cottage that my Grandma Penney grew up in. Its breathtaking. The best part is that it is literally a two minute walk from the beach, and in one of the prettiest little beach towns, Corona Del Mar. Worst part? It was sold  years ago and we can't enjoy it for ourselves anymore.. major bummer. Cheers to wishing we were billionaires right now!

Don't worry. That's all I'm going to bore you with for now. But for the next four days you will see a blog posting blast on this thing. Steve is leaving again tomorrow for the week, and I think I am ready to handle it a little bit better. Hoping that I won't be confined to tissues and be able to lead a normal life. Knock on wood. I may be talking to soon, So I guess you will find out tomorrow! Wohoo for girl emotions!! 

Mal will be my step in Husband for the week. Love you dear.

>> Ry

Help Please

Listen here loves...

I'm in desperate need. My body is begging me at this point, and I decided to listen. Our schedule out here isn't very "healthy eating permitting" to say the least. (Does that even make sense?.. whatever) I eat breakfast, try and eat a decent lunch, and then don't have dinner until 9-10 at night… awesome.

I need to do a cleanse… some sort of something to get these toxins out of my body, so I can start {a little bit} over. (Chipotle, you will still have my business - just not three times a week - I am going there for lunch today PS. It is seriously the most delectable thing ever. It's taken Cafe Rio's spot for the summer). Any ideas please?? I have heard of the Suja Juice cleanse, I would be definitely down for that because I have no time what so ever to prepare loads and loads of juice every day. I just need help ha.

I don't think that in-n-out every night for dinner is cutting it anymore. Please share anything and everything with this needy girl!!!

I thank you in advance my peeps.

Seriously.. there may or may not/pretty much will be a reward for the best advice I get... I'm that serious about this whole thing. It's GOTTA happen!! Lemme know. 

>>Ry

MIA

Yes, this post is entitled MIA… because, yes, I have been missing in action for the past little while.

We have officially been here in Rancho Cucamonga (the "cooc" as we call it) for 2 weeks now. When I look back at how long we have been here, I swear time is going by faster than usual; but then when it is 4 o'clock in the afternoon and I am sitting on the curb eating a cliff bar for dinner, the minutes take like an hour each to go by. Welcome to summer sales my friends!!

What a life it is.

#1) My husband. He is the best. Some of you already know that….but no, you really have no idea how amazing he really is. A week before we were supposed to leave for the summer, both Mr. and I started having second thoughts about me selling or not.. after months of having the plan that we would both sell this summer (and maybe more summers to come.. more on that later), so that I wouldn't have to go to school and work at the same time, we could buy our first house faster, etc. we were now second guessing ourselves. Long story short, that was so idiotic  of us… like for real.. what were we thinking???

I couldn't imagine not being out here with him, or him here without me. because that would suck. Strong word, but true.

PS… I've already made more in one week here, than I would have made in two months at my job back home… and I was getting paid way more than minimum wage at that pretty place, too. SO.. leading in to my next point.

#2) Hard Job = Amazing Results. You won't find this girl anywhere but on your doorstep for the next 3 1/2 months.. unless it is ten at night, then I will be in my bed exhausted. I won't lie.. last week I wasn't so sure about this whole thing… Every single morning  I would want to throw up and start crying. (That is still the case by the way… don't think it is changing anytime soon either). BUT I would make these amazing people that I am with out here drop me off on the curb and drive away. Crazy, right? But I promised myself that I would do this. It's not for Steve, it's not for any of the other guys selling out here, it's for me. So that I can prove to myself that I can do hard things. Because this is hard. I think I could say that this is the hardest thing I have ever done. Last Tuesday, May 7th, I sat on the curb and finally broke down crying because I hated my life so much. But then I went and got my first sale, and realized that my life is going to go on, and it will be awesome. And I have to keep remembering that every single day.

SHOUT OUT!! To my sweet and loving and supportive and amazing Mr. Warner, as well as all of the family and friends I have out here with me. Definitely couldn't do it with out you. And that is fact.

#3) Birthday. I will be a one week old, 20 year old tomorrow!! How cool is that! It was my birthday last monday, and it was one different than I have ever had before. Normal day of wearing the same attire 6 days out of the week, and a few doors slammed in my face. I tried to play the "but it's my birthday card" a few times.. it didn't work to say the least. Mr. Warner did make sure we celebrated with a sweet dinner at PF Changs that night. Our great friend Michael, and his papa Simon Hodson came and celebrated with us too. They serenaded me with their birthday toons, and it was fantastic. I'm 20 now. People still say that is young, and it's annoying, but its better than having the word "teen" at the end of your age. I can say that I don't feel any different. I have always felt like I'm 23 or 24, so maybe when those ages catch up to me I will start feeling my real age :)

Now that I have written half a novel, I will save the few readers that consume my words and hold off on all of my other thoughts until a later date.. Which won't be two weeks away. I can promise you that. I actually have started a list of what I want to talk about. There is so much. And this summer is going to be so great. 

>> Ry

Here We Come

Mr Warner and I are gonna do something...

We are going to leave sweet little #5 that we have been living in for the past eight months,
Sell a lot of our clothes,
Pack up all of our newlywed belongings,
And drive to California together.

We are going to be there for 4 months. 

I can't wait.

Now you are probably wondering, is this that summer sales thing that every single person in Utah County does? Including their dog? And pet fish?

Well yes, yes it is.

But to us it is much more than that "summer sales job".

This job is going to help us reach our dreams, and create a stable foundation for the Warner Family. A foundation that will make it so we can buy our first home by the end of this year.

So, I can't wait.

It is going to be hard, and it is going to be long, and hot... but it'll be awesome.

And yes.

I will be knocking on doors too.

All alone, not with husband.

With mace in hand,

And Dr. Scholls for my feet to love on.

>>Ry 

Hear Me Out

Disclaimer: This one is full of words... Just a heads up.

This post as been on the tip of my tongue, fingertips, in the back of my brain {however you want to explain it} for days now. Actually, more like weeks.. Contemplating if I want to step into the ball field that I'm about to. I've been trying to stay away from the blog that is all about my dramatic feelings, everyday sob stories, etc. But then I realized that I was kind of lying by thinking I should avoid that. Not only being deceitful to whoever reads this thing, but most importantly, not being honest with myself. Let's be for real here people, By just giving the weekend updates of how great our holidays were doesn't nearly sum up the lives of my Mr. and I. This post may be so irrelevant, I guess it could kind of be an introduction to the real 'squared'. 

 Maybe the best way to put it is that our lives will no longer be surfaced on this sweet thing {GASP}. I know, intense, right? But really... I guess these thoughts could have come from the fact that I have been trying to figure out what I want my "New Years Resolution" to be, or how I'm going to change the world by 25... (haha) 

Wanna know what my lovely peeps?

I finally figured it out what this mumble jumble in my head is!!!

And to be frank, I am quite excited about it.

 

BUT

This isn't a New Years Resolution. This is more of a life resolution. (to be honest, it kind of sounds really intimidating as I write that... uh oh). New Years Resolutions have never been my thing... they just don't work for some reason. I won't drink soda for 5 days and then it's someones birthday party kinda thing. (By now you are probably thinking... man, if this girl can't even manage a one year resolution, how in the world will this lifetime thing work??) Don't worry... I'm trying to figure that out myself. But I am gonna do this. And I am going to start now. If you didn't get the hint from the words I threw down earlier on the page, here it is, plain and simple.

 

 I want to be a better person.

 There! I said it!

 

Whew.... Now what? I guess that was the first step... Of course I have shared this ongoing wish with my love.. but that's where it's stuck.. and nothing has changed. By writing it down, and now that it is in cyberworld for anyone and everyone to see, I feel more confident that I have the power to make this happen. Now you are probably thinking, WOW! This chick really IS crazy... she was so scared to say that she wanted to be a better person? I promise I am not (maybe just a little). This thing is big for me! In my own way.

 I don't think I have ever had a period in my life when I have solely been able to focus on improving myself... and so I have always put these thoughts on the back burner. Steve came home about 3 months after I had graduated,and before that I was in a really serious relationship. I'm not saying that I would have changed anything, or given myself more time, because I wouldn't have. I wouldn't give up any of the experiences that I have had for anything. But I've realized now that I don't have to be alone to accomplish this. And that I don't need a set period of time to make it happen, that it actually HAS to be an ongoing thing if I want it to work. I'm actually grateful that it is this point in my life when I have decided that I am going to make this change in myself. Because I have my best friend right by my side to help me. Cheesy? Sure, but it's true. And I am realizing that I wouldn't have been ready before this, and it might be too late if I try and put it off any longer. It may be something that only I will notice, but that's okay.

 

The next step? I should probably figure out what it is that I need to do to become a better person. A better wife, daughter, sister, friend... everything. To ultimately feel like I am my BEST self. I have always had a rough time admitting when I fail, or am wrong and I want to change that. Maybe that is what I will work on first. This should include all aspects of life, right? Well there you go, I think that is why it is going to take me a lifetime to (hopefully) get it down. Because I know I'll make an endless amount of mistakes during this process, and I'll fall, But I am determined to always get back up, and take something out of the hard things that I go through.

 

 

So, life... I'm ready.

Bring. It. On.

 

>> Ry